Dear Baby Girl,
As I sit here writing you this letter, you are fast asleep in your crib. You are lucky to be so blissfully unaware of what is happening in the world outside these last few weeks. I know I can't always protect you, and keep you from knowing what dangers lurk in the world. As you age, there may be other dangers, worse, maybe, than those we face today.
This morning, you and I went on our daily neighborhood walk. A few weeks ago, we might have been going to library story hour with other toddlers, to a play date where you would be sharing toys with friends, or going to the grocery store to shop together, and speak to strangers doing their shopping, too, who might have reached out to give you a high five or gently patted your leg, and told you what a friendly little girl you are. Not today. Not this week. Not for the past two weeks.
Today, you were laying back, sucking your paci, holding your baby, and I was walking and watching. Watching for big cracks in the sidewalk that we needed to avoid. Watching for animals to point out to you. Watching for other people. I saw a woman and her dog up ahead. I watched, slowing to see where she might go. They would make a turn at the next cross street. Then a couple and their two dogs. A few weeks ago, we would have walked right up to say, "Hello." I'd ask if the dogs were friendly. The dogs would kiss your hand. Today, I crossed the street to avoid getting too close.
Today is March 26, 2020, and for two weeks, you haven't left the house, except to take our daily walk. You watch for birds, squirrels, and dogs, and I watch for people. We still say hello and wave, but we do it from at least six feet away, and we don't linger.
I still go on grocery trips, but you don't come with me. While you're still fast asleep, I get up at 5:30 in the morning to get to the grocery when they open, hoping maybe it won't be busy (it still is). My goal is to get in and out of the store as quickly as I can. I wear gloves while I shop. My chest gets tight when someone gets to close at the deli counter while I wait for them to slice our cheese. I use hand sanitizer when I get back in our car. I sanitize the steering wheel before I drive home. I ask your dad to keep you away until I sanitize the groceries, throw away the remnants of the store, and wash my own hands. I planned our meals ahead and bought enough groceries to make sure I wouldn't have to go back for two weeks.
We haven't been able to hug Mamaw and Papaw, Grandma and Grandpa, Nana and Pop-pop, Uncle Caleb, Aunt Hannah, or Tate, Aunt Jes, Uncle Noah, or Macie and Kelbie, for almost two months. We didn't know the last time we went to Indiana would be the last time that we visited for so long. We can't travel to see them, and even if we could travel, we wouldn't be able to see them up close in person and hug and kiss them. So, instead, we have "family dinners" through dad's laptop. We see them through a screen, and we talk about how we miss them and can't wait to be with them again.
One day (hopefully soon) things will get back to normal, and this will be a story we share with you when you get old enough to understand. I hear you crying as you wake up from your nap, so I will wrap this up. I'm going to go get you out of your crib and give you a big hug and kiss. Love you, baby girl.
Love,
Mama
Thursday, March 26, 2020
Sunday, April 16, 2017
Arizona Road Trip 2017
Friday 4/7
We flew out of O'Hare early Friday morning--flight was only slightly delayed. We rented a Lincoln at the airport in Phoenix (much to the dismay of Letteer.) He would have preferred a new Mustang convertible or a Jeep Wrangler. We even returned to the car rental place two days later, just to see if they had anything he wanted to trade the Lincoln in for.
After getting the car situation taken car of, our first stop in Phoenix was at In-N-Out to get a double cheeseburger and fries (Animal Style, of course.) A quick lunch, and then we headed to our hotel to check in. We stayed at the Phoenician Resort, and it was absolutely perfect. The rooms were spacious, had a balcony with a patio set, a huge soaker tub, and a view of one of seven pools at the resort.
Our first adventure in Phoenix was on Friday afternoon at Hole in the Rock in Papago Park. It was an easy and very short climb to the top, giving us our first view of Phoenix from the top. We took a short drive from Hole in the Rock to the Desert Botanical Gardens. Admission to the gardens was $25 each, which we almost didn't pay, but then we decided we didn't want to miss out on anything. It was beautiful, and our favorite part was the Butterfly Garden. It was a big tent in the middle of the park where it's literally just hundreds of butterflies flying around the tent freely. One of the butterflies even landed on my bright blue shoes (must have thought it was a flower.)
After the botanical gardens, we headed back to the hotel to take a quick swim before dinner. We actually ended up getting a cocktail at the bar first. Letteer had an Old Fashioned, and I had a drink called the Thirsty Camel, which was basically a cosmo, but with Limoncello. It was very tasty, and not overly sweet. After our cocktail, we walked down to the pool, enjoyed a beer in the hot tub, and then went back to our hotel room to get ready for dinner!
That first night, we ate at a place that Letteer had been to for work before, called SumoMaya. It was an Asian Fusion place, set in a strip mall, but a very cool atmosphere on the inside. I'm assuming, just because it was a Friday night, there was a DJ playing music, and it was very busy! We sat at the bar top surrounding the kitchen, and got to see them prepare our food.
After dinner, we rode back to the hotel, and had a night-cap on the upstairs balcony. We enjoyed a port tawny, walked down to the pool for a bit, and then we enjoyed the views on our room's balcony/patio area.
We flew out of O'Hare early Friday morning--flight was only slightly delayed. We rented a Lincoln at the airport in Phoenix (much to the dismay of Letteer.) He would have preferred a new Mustang convertible or a Jeep Wrangler. We even returned to the car rental place two days later, just to see if they had anything he wanted to trade the Lincoln in for.
After getting the car situation taken car of, our first stop in Phoenix was at In-N-Out to get a double cheeseburger and fries (Animal Style, of course.) A quick lunch, and then we headed to our hotel to check in. We stayed at the Phoenician Resort, and it was absolutely perfect. The rooms were spacious, had a balcony with a patio set, a huge soaker tub, and a view of one of seven pools at the resort.
Our first adventure in Phoenix was on Friday afternoon at Hole in the Rock in Papago Park. It was an easy and very short climb to the top, giving us our first view of Phoenix from the top. We took a short drive from Hole in the Rock to the Desert Botanical Gardens. Admission to the gardens was $25 each, which we almost didn't pay, but then we decided we didn't want to miss out on anything. It was beautiful, and our favorite part was the Butterfly Garden. It was a big tent in the middle of the park where it's literally just hundreds of butterflies flying around the tent freely. One of the butterflies even landed on my bright blue shoes (must have thought it was a flower.)
After the botanical gardens, we headed back to the hotel to take a quick swim before dinner. We actually ended up getting a cocktail at the bar first. Letteer had an Old Fashioned, and I had a drink called the Thirsty Camel, which was basically a cosmo, but with Limoncello. It was very tasty, and not overly sweet. After our cocktail, we walked down to the pool, enjoyed a beer in the hot tub, and then went back to our hotel room to get ready for dinner!
That first night, we ate at a place that Letteer had been to for work before, called SumoMaya. It was an Asian Fusion place, set in a strip mall, but a very cool atmosphere on the inside. I'm assuming, just because it was a Friday night, there was a DJ playing music, and it was very busy! We sat at the bar top surrounding the kitchen, and got to see them prepare our food.
After dinner, we rode back to the hotel, and had a night-cap on the upstairs balcony. We enjoyed a port tawny, walked down to the pool for a bit, and then we enjoyed the views on our room's balcony/patio area.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Year 2 in the Books
Today marked the close of my second year of teaching kindergarten at Chalmers. I can't believe how quickly this year has gone. It's been a great year. We were chosen as a Turnaround Arts school, so we incorporated more art (dramatic, visual, and musical) into our classrooms and the school community. We saw a dramatic change in our students this year. I feel like I am part of something special this year. We saw so much growth in our students' academic performance, but also in their demeanor, too. Our school went up two levels in the CPS SQRP (School Quality Rating Policy). Our school went from being Level 3 to Level 2+ and we were just a point away from being a level 1 school. What that means for our school is that we are now in "Good Standing" with Chicago Public Schools. This is amazing, considering just last year we were considered to be in need of "Intensive Support." I'm so proud of my colleagues and our administration, but especially of our students and their families. I'm excited for what next year will bring.
Monday, February 17, 2014
You know when you just get it...
Today was the perfect day. I had a grand total of 9 kids show up for school because of the ridiculous amount of snow that was coming down all day. It was a beautiful Monday miracle. It was just so nice to be able to give all of my attention to 9 precious kinder babies! It was the perfect day to just slow down, enjoy my students, and remember why I chose this profession.
This afternoon, I had just finished teaching a whole group math lesson on adding two numbers between 1-10 with a number line. After teaching the lesson (complete with human number line!) I had set the students loose on their independent work, and I was checking in with individual students to see whether they were catching on to how to complete the problems on their own.
I had conferenced with all the students about common mistakes they were making, but I noticed that there was one student in particular who was still completely confused and had gotten every problem wrong on our worksheet. This is one of my very low babies who is actually beginning the process to receive special education services.
I pulled him to another table to work with me, and I had him do 5 more problems that I made up. I taught him a new way to try it. After 3 problems, he was getting the right answers on his own, and after completing the last one correctly, I got really excited and did a little cheer for him. He threw his arms around me in the tightest kindergartener hug I've ever gotten, and said, "Thank you, Mrs. Lewis!!" I literally had to choke back the tears. That moment right there is what this job is all about. Truthfully, there is nothing more rewarding than knowing you helped a child experience success.
This afternoon, I had just finished teaching a whole group math lesson on adding two numbers between 1-10 with a number line. After teaching the lesson (complete with human number line!) I had set the students loose on their independent work, and I was checking in with individual students to see whether they were catching on to how to complete the problems on their own.
I had conferenced with all the students about common mistakes they were making, but I noticed that there was one student in particular who was still completely confused and had gotten every problem wrong on our worksheet. This is one of my very low babies who is actually beginning the process to receive special education services.
I pulled him to another table to work with me, and I had him do 5 more problems that I made up. I taught him a new way to try it. After 3 problems, he was getting the right answers on his own, and after completing the last one correctly, I got really excited and did a little cheer for him. He threw his arms around me in the tightest kindergartener hug I've ever gotten, and said, "Thank you, Mrs. Lewis!!" I literally had to choke back the tears. That moment right there is what this job is all about. Truthfully, there is nothing more rewarding than knowing you helped a child experience success.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Welcome to the Real World: What Did You Expect?!
I can not believe that I have only been a "real" teacher for 5 months, essentially. In the past five months I have done the most real "growing up" I have ever done in my entire life combined. I am in charge of 21 little 5 and 6 year old lives during the hours of 8:45 and 3:45. Day in and day out, I am responsible for keeping them safe, relatively happy, and wait--Oh yeah, I'm responsible for actually TEACHING them something, too!
In the last five months, I have learned many many things. I wish I would have written them down on a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis, because at this point, there are more things that I have learned than I could ever put down on paper...err...word processor? However, regardless of the time that has passed, I am going to do my very best to sum up the most important things I have learned as a kindergarten teacher in one of Chicago's toughest neighborhoods--North Lawndale.
1. You make the weather in your classroom.
If you get flustered, forget to narrate, and just start raising your voice and focusing on the negative things happening, you are making the weather stormy in your class. If you focus on the positive, narrate the good you see, and stay calm--then the weather in your classroom will be calm and students will follow your lead.
What no one really tells you is how hard it is to remember that in the heat of the moment. Let me give you a specific scenario. I have a precious baby boy in my room who started out the school year as one of my most well-behaved and intelligent students. He was always very enthusiastic about coming to school and I was ready to make him the student of the month in October. Unfortunately a few weeks into school, he began exhibiting very violent and aggressive behavior when he receives any sort of consequence. I have been doing everything in my power to help this baby get back on track and back to following our classroom expectations. When he gets upset, he becomes extremely violent and unresponsive to me.
I always do my best to remain calm and stay patient with him and all of my students because I have seen what happens when I do not. Case in point--last week, I had my REACH observation (teacher accountability, formal observation done by my principal.) The hour-long observation itself went fairly well, without any big snafus, but an observation like that really wears on your nerves (and your students' as well), so I'm sure that that played a large part in what happened next. I was teaching a lesson on the carpet to my students, and my precious boy was having a fit about not wanting to do what we were doing. His exact words were "Oh, my GOD! This is bogus!!" (Complete with eyes rolling and all the attitude he could muster.) I moved his clip and told him, "It is ok to feel that way, but it is not ok to interrupt while I am teaching." I then told him (CALMLY) to go sit back at his seat and take a break. He went back to his table, but instead of sitting, he started throwing pencils out of the bins and all over the room...Every. Single. Pencil. Again, I stayed calm and I told the students to ignore him. I moved his clip to red, I moved the students back to their tables, and I passed out their work. Sometimes ignoring bad behavior is extremely effective--this day, it was not. This child walked over to another one of my students, and started kicking him, and then as I was going to buzz the office for him to be removed, he walked over and kicked ANOTHER one of my other students. As I am waiting for a security guard to come and take him out, he just starts destroying my room--taking curtains down, throwing my pencil sharpener (in turn, scattering the shavings all over the floor), throwing our huge 40 gallon garbage can and then kicking it across the room. YEAH...and I am supposed to stay calm when this is all happening?... MORAL of the story is: I did stay calm, and even though it didn't help with that particular child, it helped my 20 other kids because we were able to get back to learning once he was removed.
2. THEY ARE ONLY FIVE YEARS OLD.
When I tell people I teach kindergarten, they tend to have one of two reactions. 1) They say something to the effect of: Wow, God bless you, I know I am not that patient! or 2) Oh, they are SO cute and fun at that age!
To the people who share the second sentiment I say, come spend a hour or two teaching alone in my classroom and see what you would say then! Yes, they are cute and fun a lot of the time, but they are also little brats (I'm censoring myself) a lot of the time, as well. Now, to the people who shared the first sentiment, you're probably saying, Oh wow, maybe you aren't such a saint after all. I would say to you, no, obviously I am not. I am human, and I FEEL things. I feel so upset when I see my kiddos "misbehaving," but what I have learned and I try to remember every time I feel like I could pull my hair out, is this: they are only five years old. Not only that, these are not five year olds like the ones who come from Suburbia or rural Indiana. These are five year olds who do not get consistent meals at home. These are five year olds who have suffered from emotional and physical trauma their whole lives. These are five year olds whose only stable environment is in the four walls of my classroom. These are five year olds living in the halfway house across the street from our school. These are five year olds who want the same love and attention that one would expect to receive from their own parents. These are five year olds who are many times living with a grandparent because mom, dad, or both parents is in jail, and these are five year olds who go home after school to be taken care of by older siblings while their caregivers work late or odd hours. They are ONLY five years old.
3. Teachers teach more than core subjects.
I write 25 lessons a week. 5 lessons per day. 5 days per school week. I TEACH 25 lessons a week. But that's just on paper. Teachers teach so much more than the standards set by our government in the Common Core State Standards. We teach social and emotional skills every day. We find teachable moments in everything. We see a fight erupt over someone bumping into someone else when they just weren't watching where they were walking, and we realize. OH. You don't know that if someone bumps into you, it might not be on purpose--it could just be an accident...and you don't know that you are supposed to apologize if you accidentally bump into someone. Everything can be taught. Not only that, but I have to remember to not be shocked and even disgusted some times at what students do. When students are "misbehaving" it's not because they are "bad" kids, it's because that behavior is serving a function of some sort for them. Sometimes, it's a skill deficit and the student REALLY doesn't know how else to react in a given situation. So, in addition to teaching the core subjects every day, it's also my responsibility to teach students social and emotional skills so that I can fill those deficits that I see in my students.
4. You have to take care of yourself.
Thank God for my husband. Seriously. I am SO thankful for him. I have had way too many days this year, where when I get home, I have literally nothing left to give. It's like I hold it together until Letteer gets home, and then I can't keep it together anymore. I have had days where he no more than walks in the door and I am already bawling. Sometimes I just need to talk about my day--I talk, he listens, and sometimes I just need to cry, hug him, and say nothing. I am saying all of this to say--I have learned that you have to take care of yourself, as a teacher. It can't get to the point where all you talk about, think about, and work on is school stuff. I definitely let myself get to that point before Christmas Break. I know the toll that that can take on your home life. Letteer is the best husband, but I know that he can only take so much, too. My negative outlook on my job was wearing him down, almost as much as it was wearing me down. I am still seeking outlets for myself, so that it doesn't get to that point again. One way I am doing this is by not unloading on Letteer. If I need to talk, I do that at school with my co-workers and my coach, or occasionally I vent to my mom. Another goal I have for myself is to keep blogging like this when I have the time!
4. Teaching IS rewarding.
I know I painted a pretty bleak picture, but even on my worst days, I am always able to think of one funny, cute, or happy moment during my day. When I am away from school on the weekend, I always find myself thinking about something that I want to do with my kiddos during the next week, or I even find myself missing some of them after a long break. I am the happiest about school when I am grading papers. I love seeing how much progress my students are making. There is so much growth that happens in kindergarten, and it really does make me smile when I think that everything I am teaching them is building a foundation for their future years in school.
I'll leave you with a small success story.
Two months into the school year, I received a student from the other kindergarten classroom. This student is an identical twin boy. He and his brother were both registered in the same kindergarten classroom. I don't know whose brilliant idea that was, but it spelled disaster from the start. Finally, my principal decided that the twins should be split up. Things were going WONDERFULLY in my room, and I definitely had classroom management under control, so when they asked me which twin I would prefer to take, I decided to take the twin who was having behavior problems in my grade level partners classroom. My hope was that this would decrease the burden she was feeling, because she already has a couple students who are difficult. My principal jokingly said, "OK, Mrs. Lewis, but remember a month from now that this was your idea...Oh and Ms. Bieber, make sure you buy her coffee every now and then to pay her back!" I laughed it off, and my hope was that somehow this change would be really good for the student and that he would fit right into my well-functioning classroom and everything would be "hunky-dory." HAH! For about a week, everything was going great--he had picked up on my routines and procedures, and he seemed to be adjusting really well. Beyond that first week, things started to go downhill. His old behaviors started showing up, including provoking and initiating fights in my room, walking out of the classroom without permission, climbing up on top of the cubbies, instead of going to timeout, flipping off students, using the F*** and N***** word (directed towards other students and my principal) and the list goes on... He has been suspended twice in my classroom. I had a meeting with his mother, the principal, and our dean of students to problem solve around what we could do for this child, and he started meeting with our school counselor. BUT--there is a silver lining. After being back from Christmas break, I have not had to send this student to refocus more than once. He has been so kind towards the other students in my classroom. I have found many opportunities for him to be a leader in my room, such as holding the hand sanitizer and giving it out at the bathroom trips, putting the attendance out for me, and throwing extra breakfast bags away for me. This last week was Cavalier Kindness Week, and guess who the winner was from my classroom? You guessed it. I have never seen a child smile so big in my life. He was so excited to show his mom his medal and certificate of achievement when she picked him up, and after he ran to show her, he ran back to me, gave me a huge hug and said, "Thank you, Mrs. Lewis." I sent his mom the picture of him with his award and she wrote back, "Thank you for everything, Mrs. Lewis." How lucky am I to get to be a part of that?
In the last five months, I have learned many many things. I wish I would have written them down on a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis, because at this point, there are more things that I have learned than I could ever put down on paper...err...word processor? However, regardless of the time that has passed, I am going to do my very best to sum up the most important things I have learned as a kindergarten teacher in one of Chicago's toughest neighborhoods--North Lawndale.
1. You make the weather in your classroom.
If you get flustered, forget to narrate, and just start raising your voice and focusing on the negative things happening, you are making the weather stormy in your class. If you focus on the positive, narrate the good you see, and stay calm--then the weather in your classroom will be calm and students will follow your lead.
What no one really tells you is how hard it is to remember that in the heat of the moment. Let me give you a specific scenario. I have a precious baby boy in my room who started out the school year as one of my most well-behaved and intelligent students. He was always very enthusiastic about coming to school and I was ready to make him the student of the month in October. Unfortunately a few weeks into school, he began exhibiting very violent and aggressive behavior when he receives any sort of consequence. I have been doing everything in my power to help this baby get back on track and back to following our classroom expectations. When he gets upset, he becomes extremely violent and unresponsive to me.
I always do my best to remain calm and stay patient with him and all of my students because I have seen what happens when I do not. Case in point--last week, I had my REACH observation (teacher accountability, formal observation done by my principal.) The hour-long observation itself went fairly well, without any big snafus, but an observation like that really wears on your nerves (and your students' as well), so I'm sure that that played a large part in what happened next. I was teaching a lesson on the carpet to my students, and my precious boy was having a fit about not wanting to do what we were doing. His exact words were "Oh, my GOD! This is bogus!!" (Complete with eyes rolling and all the attitude he could muster.) I moved his clip and told him, "It is ok to feel that way, but it is not ok to interrupt while I am teaching." I then told him (CALMLY) to go sit back at his seat and take a break. He went back to his table, but instead of sitting, he started throwing pencils out of the bins and all over the room...Every. Single. Pencil. Again, I stayed calm and I told the students to ignore him. I moved his clip to red, I moved the students back to their tables, and I passed out their work. Sometimes ignoring bad behavior is extremely effective--this day, it was not. This child walked over to another one of my students, and started kicking him, and then as I was going to buzz the office for him to be removed, he walked over and kicked ANOTHER one of my other students. As I am waiting for a security guard to come and take him out, he just starts destroying my room--taking curtains down, throwing my pencil sharpener (in turn, scattering the shavings all over the floor), throwing our huge 40 gallon garbage can and then kicking it across the room. YEAH...and I am supposed to stay calm when this is all happening?... MORAL of the story is: I did stay calm, and even though it didn't help with that particular child, it helped my 20 other kids because we were able to get back to learning once he was removed.
2. THEY ARE ONLY FIVE YEARS OLD.
When I tell people I teach kindergarten, they tend to have one of two reactions. 1) They say something to the effect of: Wow, God bless you, I know I am not that patient! or 2) Oh, they are SO cute and fun at that age!
To the people who share the second sentiment I say, come spend a hour or two teaching alone in my classroom and see what you would say then! Yes, they are cute and fun a lot of the time, but they are also little brats (I'm censoring myself) a lot of the time, as well. Now, to the people who shared the first sentiment, you're probably saying, Oh wow, maybe you aren't such a saint after all. I would say to you, no, obviously I am not. I am human, and I FEEL things. I feel so upset when I see my kiddos "misbehaving," but what I have learned and I try to remember every time I feel like I could pull my hair out, is this: they are only five years old. Not only that, these are not five year olds like the ones who come from Suburbia or rural Indiana. These are five year olds who do not get consistent meals at home. These are five year olds who have suffered from emotional and physical trauma their whole lives. These are five year olds whose only stable environment is in the four walls of my classroom. These are five year olds living in the halfway house across the street from our school. These are five year olds who want the same love and attention that one would expect to receive from their own parents. These are five year olds who are many times living with a grandparent because mom, dad, or both parents is in jail, and these are five year olds who go home after school to be taken care of by older siblings while their caregivers work late or odd hours. They are ONLY five years old.
3. Teachers teach more than core subjects.
I write 25 lessons a week. 5 lessons per day. 5 days per school week. I TEACH 25 lessons a week. But that's just on paper. Teachers teach so much more than the standards set by our government in the Common Core State Standards. We teach social and emotional skills every day. We find teachable moments in everything. We see a fight erupt over someone bumping into someone else when they just weren't watching where they were walking, and we realize. OH. You don't know that if someone bumps into you, it might not be on purpose--it could just be an accident...and you don't know that you are supposed to apologize if you accidentally bump into someone. Everything can be taught. Not only that, but I have to remember to not be shocked and even disgusted some times at what students do. When students are "misbehaving" it's not because they are "bad" kids, it's because that behavior is serving a function of some sort for them. Sometimes, it's a skill deficit and the student REALLY doesn't know how else to react in a given situation. So, in addition to teaching the core subjects every day, it's also my responsibility to teach students social and emotional skills so that I can fill those deficits that I see in my students.
4. You have to take care of yourself.
Thank God for my husband. Seriously. I am SO thankful for him. I have had way too many days this year, where when I get home, I have literally nothing left to give. It's like I hold it together until Letteer gets home, and then I can't keep it together anymore. I have had days where he no more than walks in the door and I am already bawling. Sometimes I just need to talk about my day--I talk, he listens, and sometimes I just need to cry, hug him, and say nothing. I am saying all of this to say--I have learned that you have to take care of yourself, as a teacher. It can't get to the point where all you talk about, think about, and work on is school stuff. I definitely let myself get to that point before Christmas Break. I know the toll that that can take on your home life. Letteer is the best husband, but I know that he can only take so much, too. My negative outlook on my job was wearing him down, almost as much as it was wearing me down. I am still seeking outlets for myself, so that it doesn't get to that point again. One way I am doing this is by not unloading on Letteer. If I need to talk, I do that at school with my co-workers and my coach, or occasionally I vent to my mom. Another goal I have for myself is to keep blogging like this when I have the time!
4. Teaching IS rewarding.
I know I painted a pretty bleak picture, but even on my worst days, I am always able to think of one funny, cute, or happy moment during my day. When I am away from school on the weekend, I always find myself thinking about something that I want to do with my kiddos during the next week, or I even find myself missing some of them after a long break. I am the happiest about school when I am grading papers. I love seeing how much progress my students are making. There is so much growth that happens in kindergarten, and it really does make me smile when I think that everything I am teaching them is building a foundation for their future years in school.
I'll leave you with a small success story.
Two months into the school year, I received a student from the other kindergarten classroom. This student is an identical twin boy. He and his brother were both registered in the same kindergarten classroom. I don't know whose brilliant idea that was, but it spelled disaster from the start. Finally, my principal decided that the twins should be split up. Things were going WONDERFULLY in my room, and I definitely had classroom management under control, so when they asked me which twin I would prefer to take, I decided to take the twin who was having behavior problems in my grade level partners classroom. My hope was that this would decrease the burden she was feeling, because she already has a couple students who are difficult. My principal jokingly said, "OK, Mrs. Lewis, but remember a month from now that this was your idea...Oh and Ms. Bieber, make sure you buy her coffee every now and then to pay her back!" I laughed it off, and my hope was that somehow this change would be really good for the student and that he would fit right into my well-functioning classroom and everything would be "hunky-dory." HAH! For about a week, everything was going great--he had picked up on my routines and procedures, and he seemed to be adjusting really well. Beyond that first week, things started to go downhill. His old behaviors started showing up, including provoking and initiating fights in my room, walking out of the classroom without permission, climbing up on top of the cubbies, instead of going to timeout, flipping off students, using the F*** and N***** word (directed towards other students and my principal) and the list goes on... He has been suspended twice in my classroom. I had a meeting with his mother, the principal, and our dean of students to problem solve around what we could do for this child, and he started meeting with our school counselor. BUT--there is a silver lining. After being back from Christmas break, I have not had to send this student to refocus more than once. He has been so kind towards the other students in my classroom. I have found many opportunities for him to be a leader in my room, such as holding the hand sanitizer and giving it out at the bathroom trips, putting the attendance out for me, and throwing extra breakfast bags away for me. This last week was Cavalier Kindness Week, and guess who the winner was from my classroom? You guessed it. I have never seen a child smile so big in my life. He was so excited to show his mom his medal and certificate of achievement when she picked him up, and after he ran to show her, he ran back to me, gave me a huge hug and said, "Thank you, Mrs. Lewis." I sent his mom the picture of him with his award and she wrote back, "Thank you for everything, Mrs. Lewis." How lucky am I to get to be a part of that?
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
It always seems impossible...
There is a quote on the wall at the top of the staircase at my school, Curtis School of Excellence. The quote is from Nelson Mandela and it says, "It always seems impossible until it's done." I walk up the stairs every day and see that quote every day, but it took on a whole new meaning as I started preparing for and entering my two weeks of lead teach.
Before starting my lead teach, I felt extremely confident in myself, simply because I student taught previously, so I am used to lead teaching. However, on my second day of lead teach, nothing I was trying seemed to be working. I was angry with my students and frustrated because I could feel the dynamics in our class slowly changing. I was giving too much power and energy to two of my students who are continuously in trouble for disrupting the classroom with blurting out answers, making popping/clicking/smacking/whistling noises, and being rude to other students. I had followed through with our classroom management plan to the point of calling their parents and giving them a silent lunch, and they continued to make the same poor choices. So, after the second day of my lead teach, I found myself very upset and feeling like there was no way my lead teach was going to end well, after the way that day had gone.
But, instead of giving up, I had a long heart to heart with my mentor, and that night I sat down and thought long and hard about what I could do to make the next two days better. My mentor had suggested that I take time the next day to simply review our "Shining Star Promise," which is essentially our classroom rules. She talked about how with three teachers in the same room, we each need to re-establish our authority every time we are in front of the students to remind them that all of the teachers are equal in the classroom. I also developed an individual incentive for my two "frequent fliers," who cause a lot of disruption in our room.
The next day, I was nervous, but ready to learn from the day before and make it a great day. I started by sweating ALL the details. My expectations were high the moment my students walked through the doors. My frequent fliers took some accountability for their actions through the individual incentive. I was able to strike a balance between being warm and strict, and I managed to get through the entire day without wanting to scream/pull my hair out! :)
My lead teach ended on a great note, and I feel like it was a huge accomplishment. It is amazing what a difference a day makes. This experience has shown me that teaching can be a bit of a roller coaster ride...But in the end, you're always learning, always improving, and I am becoming a better teacher because of it! The last day of my lead teach was so rewarding. I climbed that last set of stairs and looked at the quote again, "It always seems impossible until you're done." With my winter lead teach behind me, I can say it feels really good to have the "impossible" done.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
The countdown begins... ;)
I love countdowns, and I just want to have something that keeps track of how many days until the wedding for me. Sorry this is a boring post, but it's mostly for my benefit. :)
Also, today we got to go to Piece pizzeria for the first time ever, and it lives up to the hype. I would go out on a limb and say that this is the best pizza I've had in my entire life! Delicious.
Also, today we got to go to Piece pizzeria for the first time ever, and it lives up to the hype. I would go out on a limb and say that this is the best pizza I've had in my entire life! Delicious.
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